Amazing MS Paint Art

This amazing piece of art I did right before passing out last night.  I think it really explains the mindset here.  Total and utter what the fuck.  I will be posting more original artwork throughout the day.

Okay, this is a new feature where I review a beer.  The first beer is Olde English 800, and while it may not technically be beer, it looks like it.  That is where the similarities end.  I'm pretty sure "Old E" was Nixon's favorite beer, as it brought out a vigor he never felt before.   It taste like a amazing blend of socks and...scrotum.  As I sit here drinking the 40oz, I begin to wonder who drinks this?  Who drinks this and enjoys it?  I just want to get drunk.  It's doing a pretty good job, but I have a back up 40oz of PBR.  Something light before bed I suppose.

Dilemma

Okay, so you are sick.  You know you are sick but you haven't puked or gotten mud butt yet.  All of a sudden it hits you and you simultaneously have to evacuate both orifices.  No time!  You run into the bath room where the cat litter happens to be and you do one of the following.

So which one is more acceptable, or just easier to do in a flash?

A quick note...

Okay, I'm finishing off my 4th 40oz and I'm pissed off because it took me so long to drink them.  DAMMIT!  I just want to say to all my tree friends who helped me to create the piece of "art" at the top you are cool.  I guess.  I expected better.  I hope a chimpanzee queefs on your wedding cake.  I love you guys.

One last thing before I pass out!

I'm probably going to puke tomorrow morning, it's going to be horrible, it's going to be a sweaty venture.  I will feel invigorated and new as sweat drips down my butt crack.  I will shake and crawl back to bed until I have enough strength to get more beer.   After that, I'll probably try my hand at curing and smoking a whole pig belly in an old 1930's Coca-Cola cooler.

Who I am.

I would first like to introduce myself.  I am a polymorphic hologram sentient crystal lifeform.  Deal with it.  I live off of vesper gas and flourine.  My body looks like a continuously folding hyper-cube.  When I was born, my mom threw me against the wall in horror and my dad laughed because I looked like one of those sticky octopii that slowly slides down the wall.  I knew from that day on I was special.

My first blog.

This is my first blog.  This will be a magical place where we can experience my genius.  Love it!